"Arrange me a Marriage!"- TV Program Review

By Majed Iqbal

A fresh new program has hit the television screens at peak prime time viewing on the BBC 2 channel. Actually, one which has taken everyone back! Titled "Arrange me a marriage" the show attempts to matchmake couples by using the principles of "Asian" arranged marriages.

Sounds interesting! Also sounds taboo! After all, such a concept of an arranged marriage seems backdated to Victorian Times for the English population. More pertinent for the host nation is the gutter press coverage of this concept which is associated with families of Pakistani and Bangladeshi origin, examples of which can be found littered in Tabloid press for "good" reading. So the idea already strikes the wrong chords with many people. "We'll stick to curries" we may hear. Nobody needs anything else of Asian People.

Dubbed as the "Desi" or Asian styled version of Blind Date, Aneela Rahman replaces Cilla Black in not just hooking up two couples but two families to arrange a relationship leading to marriage. Aneela transports "Asian" traditional methods in finding the perfect partner to be by involving the family heavily. "Go through a list of all the people you know" she says to the Brothers, Sisters, Mother, father and friends of the respective 30-something individual who is finding it difficult to settle down.

Beyond the program are the perceptions of this set up which are marred with examples of backwardness and just NOT the "done thing" in Western society. Here, it will be argued that we meet up at clubs, pubs, campuses, at work and just simply date, sometimes coupleed with physical intimacy before making a decision on our future as couples. However, with the popularity of chat rooms talking for hours with "unknown people" in cyber space seems no different of an idea for me.

Take Facbook or Hi 5 for example. Such websites have pictures on the profile of an individual with brief descriptions about their personality, likes and dislikes etc Despite such limited insight into the person, people are going mad with chatting online, exchanging details and opening up to each other, all at the comfort of sitting behind their computers. These are the "modern" ways of building relationships. "Don't tell me you don't have a facebook account!!"

So should Aneela Rehmans show be tarnished as controversial when the same set up can be found with other popular mediums being used today? Can it be embarrassing when the people who know you best are "helping" you find a suitable match such that you can settle down well? Compare this to Facebook where your conversing with complete strangers. How can you trust someone online??

Most people would associate arranged marriages to Islamic culture, and rightly so. It is one of the Islamic methods that can be employed to find a marriage partner. Islam places huge emphasis on Family values and this is exactly what is displayed when finding a spouse. Offspring often place their trust in their family to find them a suitor. Alternatively the son or daughter can propose a suitor to the parents whom then proceed to contact the relevant families.

Marriage in the UK is at a record low and is becoming an outdated model for relationships. Instead, co-habitation is becoming the more acceptable set-up for couples to be together.. A more lenient and cheaper option where couples can mutually finish the relationship without any legal consequences. For those few who are getting married, for every 1000 couples 12.2 are getting divorced (office for National Statistics 2007).

Hence Aneela Rehman's show should not come as a shock or be considered in any way distasteful to the Host population. Instead it shuld be considered as a viable alternative to a real problem which is being faced by many in this country. And yes, once again, Islam places a similar say on this issue of marriage as it is undoubtedly a human need which requires regulation. Allah (swt) mentions in the Quran

And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in peace and tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who reflect" (Quran 30:21).